What friends are for?

I watched many drama and shows about friendship and I always wonder how am I going to survive this world? Like- am I still going to be friends with them? Or we just drift apart because of our choices in life?

Dude- only God knows how important they are to me. Like all of them!! And I need to be agree that sometimes I "checked out" and I forgot about some of them. Like I was so into passion with that one friend and I forgot to talk with the other one.

I know! That sucks. Like super suckie mollie. Even if I were her, I would be sad cause I was left out. Like the fak dude. Why are you doing this to me. You only cared about her. Are we even friends anymore?

I am not going to defend myself this time because I know that was my fault. I admitted that. But that didnt mean that you are nothing to me now. Especially 5 of you meant a lot to me. I really hope we will be able to stay together till we get old, inshaAllah.

Many people always think that I only cared for my 4 darlings, but hey gotta admit! They are pretty special to me hehe. People like Izzati, Alia, Ismul, Ain, Hana, Amira, Najihah and GOD! SO MANY MORE. I DO CARE ABOUT YOU PEOPLE!!!

No i dont want you guys to get hurt! No! Its not okay to get humiliated by others and no! It is just not okay for me looking at you guys get hurt. Okay?

Back to the topic, sometimes I checked out and forgot to check in back. I am bad I know. But I made mistakes and I really want to change that. Cause I know that we used to talk like- ohh she only wants to be with herrr, she didnt care about us! And now I left you out.

That was the last time I would be doing that inshaAllah. Just know, I love you guys so much equally. I just show that by different ways.

I learn that we must always try to heal the wound and thats ok if the wound leaves a scar so that it would remind us what we done before. So when we were adults, we would tell our kids that we went through many hardships together, we fought and sometimes we all used to feel the left out thingie. And it is okay as long as your best friend wants to try to do the best after that. It is okay to remind them that you feel left out.

Dont hide it inside or you will harm yourself. That is what we are going to tell our kids, promise?

P/s dont let me be the only one "who pushes the swing" cause I will get tired if Im the only one who wants to try. Let we all take turns on pushing the swing okay? Love you.

Xoxo
Asmaa

Seventeen!

Assalamualaikum and a veryyyy good night. Hahaha

Okay, so harini 2nd January 2016.
Wahh. Aku dah 17 wehhh. 17. Omegerdd.

Looking at my past, knowing that I've been through many bad experiences and good ones, entah la rasa macam. Huwaa power jugak kau ni.

Tapi rasa nak gelak pun ada sbb baru 17. Kalau Allah tetapkan, mungkin ada banyak tahun lagi yg perlu aku hadapi dkt hidup ni. Huhuhu.

17 tahun ni. Aku ada azam baru. Well yg paling nak, mestilah 11A+!
Serious. Tahun ni tak nak memain sangat dah.
Belajar erti penat. Kalau penat bukan maknanya kena stop, tapi kena slow down sekejap lepastu teruskan lagi. Eh betul ke? Hahaha.

Yg pasti, inshaAllah Im working harder than everrrr and Im gonna get straight A+ inshaAllah.

Nothing is impossible kan?

Oh lepastu another one, aku nak dapat my ideal weight on 1st June. Pleaseeee. Tolonglahh. I've been working out a bit and control makan la sikit. Some suggest me to try atkins diet. Alah yg mkn protein je tu. Mmg la mcm hm why not. Tapi nanti dulu la kot. Hehe. Bukan apa. Lets try apa yg aku tgh buat skrg ni dulu at least for a month, kalau ada hasil why not. Kalau takde baru pergi ke plan B.

Tbh, aku jealous gilaaaa dgn gadis gadis yg makan mcm gajah ni tp badan halus mcm cicak. Geram ok. Dalam badan kau simpan jin ke apa. Huhu.

Lagipun siapa tak sedih when someone said that you are an obese walaupun time tu dia ber"jenaka" sahaja. Tapi still sedih la. I still in overweight phase and akan turun ke fasa normal beberapa bulan lagi inshaAllah. (Pls doa supaya pelajaran tak tinggal. I srsly need to make a schedule to handle with my daily activities hihi)

Ok tp kena ingat, niat nak kurus bukan sbb nak pakai baju yg perghh juga bukan utk kasi org perghhh tapi sebab aku nak sihat.

Im going to use the same body for who knows maybe more than 50 years. So jaga la kesihatan badan tu baik baik. Doa kan ok? Tak nak sakit sakit.

Ada banyak lagi azam tapi i simpan dulu ok? Malu la hehehee (padahal bkn ada org baca pun lol)

Alright itu aje kot buat masa skrg.

Have a great year and may this year, your relationship with Allah are even better than before and will continue to be even betterrr till the end of our lives Amin!

Mental Breakdown

So beberapa hari yang lalu, aku rasa kosong sangat. Macam ada benda yang tak kena.

Aku buat semua benda macam biasa aje. Tapi baru aku teringat aku dah lama tak mengaji Al Quran.

Ye. Aku mengaku benda tu. Aku rasa dah lebih sebulan aku tinggal and rasa bersalah sangat. Sebab well, kau tau la kan. Dekat twitter mostly banyak sentuh pasal baca Al Quran baca Al Quran and aku selalu mcm hah ok ok camtu je.

Ya rabb  teruknya aku. Itulah yang aku fikir time tu.

And lepas solat Isyak wak tu malam tu, tetiba aku rasa mcm oklah jom kita baca Al Quran sekarang. Aku tak terus je baca, aku belek belek pastu baca tafsir dia. And then waktu nak carik the last tanda yg aku letak sebelum ni. Tak jumpa.

I guess my sister accidentally tertarik tanda tu waktu dia pinjam sekejap dalam 2 minggu lepas. So aku random ajelah belek belek Al Quran.

Tetiba memang time aku stop belek tu. Terbukak dekat muka surat Surah At Taubat. Yg memang drpd ayat pertama punya. So I clearly saw AT-TAUBAT and aku punya hati rasa macam. Entahlah tak tau nak explain macam mana. Tapi memang rasa mcm Allahuakbar...

Well, memang surah At Taubat tu ada cerita dia sendiri tapi entahlah. Aku rasa mcm Allah nak kasi petunjuk suruh aku taubat. Hm..

Aku harap sangat lepasni aku takkan tinggal Al Quran dah. Semoga aku istiqamah. InshaAllah.

Terima kasih sangat Ya Allah.

Doakan aku istiqamah ok? And semoga kita semua berada di dalam kalangan orang yang beriman nanti inshaAllah.

Muslimah Thingies

I am not a pious muslim. Yes, I am a muslim but I am not a really good one. And it is really hard knowing that others are expecting that my friends and I who are in "that" class are so nice, discipline and perfect like honey what?

We are humans! And we make mistakes too!

I am glad that people now trying to accept for who we really are lol. Yes, some are expecting us to be better than others so we can actually be an example to others and so they can improve themselves as well. But hey, we dont have to be perfect if we want to advise people- right?

I believe that someone who is trying to be better every time is the right person to advise others.

"Jangan sibuk jaga tepi kain orang boleh?"

"Macam lah kau perfect sangat"

"Itu urusan aku dengan Allah."

Aippp. Kita ni manusia hakak. Memang kewajipan kita untuk saling menegur antara satu sama lain. Saya pun buat dosa hakak. Semua org ada buat dosa besar dia sendiri. Takde manusia yang perfect.

"Habistu dah tau diri tak perfect sibuk nk tegur orang kenapa?"

Lah. Kalau nak tunggu orang perfect tegur awak tu, awak nak tunggu nabi datang ke baru nak insaf.

Kita ni hidup tak lama. Kalau kau rasa pedih dengan apa yg orang tegur, kau terasa semua. Bersyukur la. Berterima kasih dekat Allah swt banyak banyak sbb tu maknanya hati kau masih ada rasa nak berubah. Tak hitam.

Tapi, kalau yg menegur pun masukkan lah dalam diri sekali. Jangan sibuk mengamuk mcm orang gila cakap kat orang jangan bercouple tapi awak tu bercouple. Aipppp ni bukan pasal bukan semua org perfect ok. Ni pasal kita pun kena la belajar drpd kesilapan dan masukkan dalam hati sekali nasihat yg kita kasi kat orang tu. Biar kita sama sama masuk syurga. Okay?

Hahahah i was supposed to talk about something else but I wrote about other topic eheheheh. Ok lah if there were some mistakes on my statement, please do not hesitate to comment or directly contact me so I am NOT gonna live with ajaran sesat and we all can correct each others.

Okay! Assalamualaikum

Expect less.

Assalamualaikum.

Everyone was born with different abilities. A likes Physics and she is really good at it. B hates Physics but she is really good at sports. See?

Do not expect too much just because they are placed in good classes. Im getting exhausted honestly, listening to the people saying

"I never thought you guys are like this."

" You guys dont make any difference with the other classes."

"Its not that hard why cant you understand? It just a basic. You guys arent as clever as I expect."

Well. 

DONT EXPECT TOO MUCH. 

Some people just stay there, cause they had to. Not because they wanted to. 

"Its already written by God. Accept it!"

Oh and yes, kebanyakannya dah redha. But thats why you got to understand. Some people didnt want to be here at first cause they werent really confident with their abilities. So we all actually NEED to help them by guiding them slowly but effectively. 

Jangan nak laju je. 

Okay bye.

Good bye

My fish died today. And you know what worst? When everyone blamed you for it.

"Dosa tau. Tak jaga dia elok elok"

"Memang salah Asmaa pun"

I took care of "Lay" (dont get me wrong, he was laying his body all the time on the first month I took care of him) since last year. And we've been through a lot of things together actually.

"Ikan je kot. Chill la."

Ikan je memang la ikan.
Tahu? Ikan tu la yang sedih sampai aku merayu mintak ibu belikan cacing beku so dia happy balik.
Tapi terkasi banyak and perut dia mcm pregnant. Besar sangat.
Lepastu kau berlari keluarkan balik cacing2 yg dia belum makan dalam tu. Menangis depan dia ckp sorry sebab tak tau. Bukak yasin sebelah tank air dia. Ikan je pun?

Ikan ni la yang hampir mati sebab tertukar temperature air yg buat dia terkejut sampai aku menangis (lagi) and dia end up terbangun balik?

Ikan ni la yang waktu aku nak exam, mesti cakap bye bye dekat dia dulu mintak restu.

Ikan ni la yang time aku tengah sedih, duduk depan dia and dia akan swim depan aku and tengok aku macam

"Jangan lah sedih."

I know. I've been ignoring him these few weeks and yes put all the blame on me. Tapi tak payahlah cakap aku ni memang jahat sangat dera dia la mcm aku baru jaga dia seminggu.

Kalau engkau rasa aku ni memang tak pernah kisah pasal dia. Kenapa engkau sibuk kisah pasal tu and tak pulak kisah pasal ikan tu? Like actually help me take care of him together?

"Tu ikan kau kan."

Hey, the cat was yours at first but we ended up taking care of him together.

Aku tahu memang aku berdosa sebab tak jaga dia elok elok beberapa minggu ni and yes memang aku rasa bersalah sangat. Fikirkan nanti dekat akhirat macam mana kalau dia soal aku?

"Kenapa tak jaga aku elok elok?"

Lay. Aku mintak maaf sangat aku tak dapat jadi owner yang baik. I love you like so much. Ever since the first day we met. Waktu tu everyone was in rush so ibu ckp amik je memana. And that time I saw you and I was like.

"Nak itu. Yang itu taknak yang lain."

Walaupun time tu memang kau dah tak aktif, warna pun dah tak lawa mana. Aku rasa aku boleh jaga kau kasi kau happy balik.

Aku fail ke?

Aku mintak maaf. Aku tahu aku salah and aku sedih. Tapi janganlah sampai nak cakap lagi benda yang menyakitkan hati. Aku pun ada perasaan jugak.


Lay aku mintak maaf sangat-sangat.

Tapi waktu kau mati tu, aku rasa lega sikit walaupun maybe kau mati sebab dalaman. Tapi fizikal kau elok. Cantik. Mata kau mcm ada sparkle color biru, ekor kau cantik lepastu siap ada line hijau berkilat lagi yang baru keluar yang memang selama ni tak pernah ada tapi bila mati ada. Aku harap sangat kau mati dengan tenang. I love you dan maafkan aku.

I heard Miley's song Pablo the Blowfish and I was curious why she was so emotional singing a song about her dead fish? Now I am understand.

Ampunkanlah dosa aku Lay. Aku sayang kau.

A normal human being

Assalamualaikum everyone and happy iftar! Others are still eating chicken rice my mum made and here I am sitting in the living room's couch. Okay moving on.

Im not going to say much but can I ask you something? Do you have feelings? Does it hurt when someone says you are ugly? Or does it okay when a person you like the most like someone else? Or maybe a person you thought your bestfriend claimed other person as her bestfriend? Or even in the simplest thing such as knowing other people choosing someone else first before you.

Daaaah. We all have things that hurt us and sometimes we do things that hurt others.

But is that mean that we are allowed to hurt others? I never meant to hurt anyone but I know I've always hurt people. I want to apologize.

I am really sorry.