Good bye

My fish died today. And you know what worst? When everyone blamed you for it.

"Dosa tau. Tak jaga dia elok elok"

"Memang salah Asmaa pun"

I took care of "Lay" (dont get me wrong, he was laying his body all the time on the first month I took care of him) since last year. And we've been through a lot of things together actually.

"Ikan je kot. Chill la."

Ikan je memang la ikan.
Tahu? Ikan tu la yang sedih sampai aku merayu mintak ibu belikan cacing beku so dia happy balik.
Tapi terkasi banyak and perut dia mcm pregnant. Besar sangat.
Lepastu kau berlari keluarkan balik cacing2 yg dia belum makan dalam tu. Menangis depan dia ckp sorry sebab tak tau. Bukak yasin sebelah tank air dia. Ikan je pun?

Ikan ni la yang hampir mati sebab tertukar temperature air yg buat dia terkejut sampai aku menangis (lagi) and dia end up terbangun balik?

Ikan ni la yang waktu aku nak exam, mesti cakap bye bye dekat dia dulu mintak restu.

Ikan ni la yang time aku tengah sedih, duduk depan dia and dia akan swim depan aku and tengok aku macam

"Jangan lah sedih."

I know. I've been ignoring him these few weeks and yes put all the blame on me. Tapi tak payahlah cakap aku ni memang jahat sangat dera dia la mcm aku baru jaga dia seminggu.

Kalau engkau rasa aku ni memang tak pernah kisah pasal dia. Kenapa engkau sibuk kisah pasal tu and tak pulak kisah pasal ikan tu? Like actually help me take care of him together?

"Tu ikan kau kan."

Hey, the cat was yours at first but we ended up taking care of him together.

Aku tahu memang aku berdosa sebab tak jaga dia elok elok beberapa minggu ni and yes memang aku rasa bersalah sangat. Fikirkan nanti dekat akhirat macam mana kalau dia soal aku?

"Kenapa tak jaga aku elok elok?"

Lay. Aku mintak maaf sangat aku tak dapat jadi owner yang baik. I love you like so much. Ever since the first day we met. Waktu tu everyone was in rush so ibu ckp amik je memana. And that time I saw you and I was like.

"Nak itu. Yang itu taknak yang lain."

Walaupun time tu memang kau dah tak aktif, warna pun dah tak lawa mana. Aku rasa aku boleh jaga kau kasi kau happy balik.

Aku fail ke?

Aku mintak maaf. Aku tahu aku salah and aku sedih. Tapi janganlah sampai nak cakap lagi benda yang menyakitkan hati. Aku pun ada perasaan jugak.


Lay aku mintak maaf sangat-sangat.

Tapi waktu kau mati tu, aku rasa lega sikit walaupun maybe kau mati sebab dalaman. Tapi fizikal kau elok. Cantik. Mata kau mcm ada sparkle color biru, ekor kau cantik lepastu siap ada line hijau berkilat lagi yang baru keluar yang memang selama ni tak pernah ada tapi bila mati ada. Aku harap sangat kau mati dengan tenang. I love you dan maafkan aku.

I heard Miley's song Pablo the Blowfish and I was curious why she was so emotional singing a song about her dead fish? Now I am understand.

Ampunkanlah dosa aku Lay. Aku sayang kau.

A normal human being

Assalamualaikum everyone and happy iftar! Others are still eating chicken rice my mum made and here I am sitting in the living room's couch. Okay moving on.

Im not going to say much but can I ask you something? Do you have feelings? Does it hurt when someone says you are ugly? Or does it okay when a person you like the most like someone else? Or maybe a person you thought your bestfriend claimed other person as her bestfriend? Or even in the simplest thing such as knowing other people choosing someone else first before you.

Daaaah. We all have things that hurt us and sometimes we do things that hurt others.

But is that mean that we are allowed to hurt others? I never meant to hurt anyone but I know I've always hurt people. I want to apologize.

I am really sorry.

Chef Remaja anjuran Maggi 2013

Assalamualaikum! Nampak tak nama tu? Tahu apa yg mmg buat aku bengang gila bila dapat majalah? Sebab dia tulis Pertandingan Memasak Megi. I was like "bapak diaaa" hahahahaha.

Ok move on im cool im cool i forgive you an anonymous school editor -_-

So, on 2013. Petaling Perdana sent our school to present the "zone"? Sebab on 2012 or 2011 Im not really sure, our school students made to the 3rd place on peringkat Selangor. So dia hantar lagi sekolah utk wakilkan lagi.

I watched the show on tv when I was twelve. Pernah tengok? Cause I've watched it and I was really hoping for it like "Ok when I get into the secondary school, I'll join this competition!" Cause my interested on cooking was really highhhhh.

One day, Puan Rohana (my lovely KH teacher) serius mmg baik gila suggested Dayana, Ismul and me to join the competition. I wasnt sure why cause I never told her about my interest on cooking but she suggested us and a teacher who was supposed to train us asked us like-

"Korang ni memang boleh masak ke?" She asked

"Boleh la kot." One of us (i think)

"Boleh masak apa?" She asked again

"Cikgu nak saya masak apa?" I answered kahkahkah

It was a spontaneous answer sisss. Sebab time tu mmg excited benor nak masuk pertandingan tu.

So we trained for around 4-5 days. And we even stayed a night in a homestay there sebab the teachers takut nanti tak sempat nak pergi sana awal pagi sebab jauh jugak dari Shah Alam. Tak ingat kat mana.

Mula-mula cikgu tu mintak Ismul yang masakkan ayam and I was supposed to make the vegetable dish and I was like taknakkkkk saya tak retiii nak masak masak sayurrr. Nak masak ayam hahahaha.  So tu la hasil 3 orang murid dan 2 orang cikgu yang kreatif hurhur. 

Masa kitorang tinggal dekat homestay tu. I said to dayana "kalau kita tak menang ni. Memang aku rasa aku akan rasa bersalah dekat cikgu-cikgu and the school too I think sbb they spent a lot of money for us and cikgu ni dah banyak dah habiskan masa diorang ajar kita walaupun sekejap."

I never aimed for anything. Tu je yang aku cakap. But hasilnyaaaaa.

2nd place pun bolehhhh. Alhamdulillah! Memang tak fikir lansung pasal menang kalah. Just masak je sebab entahlah I guess I was really into it so I just prepared the chicken grill, helped my friends and then done. Here we go!

So memang happy la. Pengacara dia cakap satu satu sekolah yang dapat saguhati and we were holding our hands really tightttttt. Takut sis takut. Pastu nama sekolah tak disebut and the teachers were really happyyyy. Waktu naik atas pentas, we were just expecting for 3rd place kahkah pastu dpt 2nd so mmg it was one of my best day sis. 

On 2014, PK Koku tanya nak masuk lagi ke and kitorang macam mestilah nak. Tapi takde rezeki sbb cikgu lain pulak yg conduct and they chose their own students so it would be easier. Nahhh takde rezeki nak buat mcm mana. At least, we got the chance and we made ittttt. 

Walaupun bengang dengan budak budak yg gelak sbb igt kitorang menang masak meggi. K. K. 

I wrote this post sebab nampak dayana posted this hahahaha. Ok byeeee